What ensued was 3-4 months of chaos–and nothing about it was blissful. I’m not going to go into a lot of details, but suffice it to say we were sinking fast. And I guess, maybe it wasn’t fast. Afterall, the initial layoff began on August 20, 2008, so it had been nearly 2 years. Hope was hard to come by. Faith was being tested. Life pretty much stunk.

During all of this financial stress, I had another major stressor in my life. My mother and her continuing decline into dementia.

I have truly never known such stress, such despair, such an overwhelming feeling of, well, being overwhelmed. (Let’s not forget I’m the mother of 4 young children).

My prayers shifted their focus. Instead of  just praying for blessings on our family, my prayers became desperate. Something had to give. I believe the Lord won’t allow you to go through more than you can handle–

1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

but, I was truly reaching the end of my rope. Something had to give. You know, I’m very familiar with the first part of the Bible verse above. But I found myself forgetting, maybe doubting the last part–”He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

Then came August. Our darkest month financially.

My friend Elizabeth told me about a support group for caregivers of dementia patients. Oh, my gosh! Talk about a gift from God! Our group met weekly for  the first month, and now we meet monthly. I have learned so much and am so much better equipped to handle my mother’s care now than I was before.

Out of the blue, the ladies from my church took up a collection and provided us with a gift card to help with back to school shopping.

By the end of August, Michael’s freelance work was really picking up again.

September was a good month, too. But by mid-month, it got really good!

He landed a terrific job! Two days before he was contacted about the job he said, “When it’s right, it will be easy.” Well, I guess so! This opportunity came looking for him. It’s quite literally his dream job. You can read his take on his blog at Mike’s Points.com.

The Sunday after he was offered the job, I sat in Bible study at church and listened as the teacher read the following passage to us from James 1:

 ²Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

and,

¹²Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

I doubt it was coincidence that those passages were the focus of our discussion that day.

Michael started his job on October 4. We’re adjusting to another new normal. It’s a good adjustment to make.

Life’s less chaotic and more blissful now.

Thank you,  God!

If you’re a friend of mine, or a family member or even a regular reader of this blog, then you know the shlumping economy hit our household on August 20, 2008. The last time I wrote about our experience was on the first anniversary of that hit.

It was a pretty positive post. We were doing pretty well. Then in the blink of an eye, we weren’t so OK anymore.

The months of September, October, November and December sent us one blow after another.

BAM! Michael’s biggest client decided they no longer needed his services.

BAM! The Department of Human Services decided we weren’t eligible for benefits anymore.

BAM! The COBRA subsidy ran out.

BAM! The Department of Job and Family Services decided Michael wasn’t eligible for unemployment anymore.

I felt absolutely defeated. I was frustrated. The savings we’d built up over several months was gone seemingly overnight. We were back to square one–or square zero.

I know I probably wasn’t much fun to be around. (Thank you my dear friends for sticking with me.) We were in almost exactly the same situation we’d been in a year before but my attitude was much different. I still had faith, still trusted in God’s plan, but really felt I was reaching the end of what I could handle.

I remember crying myself to sleep on New Year’s Eve. A night when most are feeling hopeful about what the new year will bring, I was almost hopeless.

So here we were in January, again. Amazingly, the interviews started happening again. Little by little all the bureaucratic red-tape got straightened around and we started receiving help again from Human Services and Unemployment. The COBRA subsidy was extended.

There was hope, but less of it. I guess one gets jaded after being knocked down from the pedestal of hope time and again.

Amidst the job interviews, one opportunity was most intriguing. But also most risky as the company is a start-up. We began having the same conversation we’d had the previous January during the slew of interviews while we weighed the option of Michael having his own business.

How will we know which is the right decision? If there’s an offer from a stable company that’s been around awhile, do we take that and then have regrets later if this start-up really takes off? What if we go with the start-up and they fail in 6 months or a year? Then we go through all this again.

We prayed for guidance.

You know, I think maybe God doesn’t trust our decision making ability because he seems to make the answers abundantly clear. None of the other interviews panned out. Nothing to lose. Take the risk.

Michael’s been on contract with them for the last two months and we’ve been holding our breath. As of today, he is EMPLOYED! (insert Hallelujah chorus here)

Is this God’s plan? No clue!

But, we’re hopeful again. Making plans again. And if it turns out this IS God’s plan, we’re thankful for the past 19 months, 11 days which brought us to this opportunity willing to take a risk.

and…EXHALE!

In my defense, blog posts weren’t the only things that didn’t get done this week. I didn’t do laundry, clean house, cook, take my son for his allergy shots or even remember to have my 1st grader do her homework. I’m sure if you asked my husband, he would be able to add several items to the list of things I did not do this week.

A big part of my life is spent volunteering–Daisy Girl Scout Leader, PTO Treasurer, Robotics Coach, Mom 2 Mom Sale Organizer, Classroom Volunteer, etc. I find volunteering to be very rewarding. I enjoy giving of my time to help others. But this particular week, it seemed that all of the facets of my life collided and demanded my time. Add to that the usual stuff that happens when you’re a family of six and you can see how life could spin out of control once in awhile.

Again, I’m sure if you asked my husband, he’d be able to detail how the volunteering causes life to spin out of control more often than once in awhile. But he has his own blog and if wants to complain about me, he can do it there.

Speaking of spinning…it appears that it’s possible that the devastating Chilean earthquake last week may have actually altered the rotation of the earth and shortened our days–by 1.26 microseconds.

C’mon, Mother Nature, I needed that microsecond!

I thought I had someone I could rely on. Someone who could care for them as well, if not better, than I. I’ve trusted this person with my children for more than 11 years. Eleven years. Without incident.

Recently, though, I’ve begun to wonder if this individual is really the type of caregiver I want for my children. While I don’t have a nanny cam, I do have some photographic and video footage to present to you as evidence.

Take a look and then tell me: Would you leave your children with this person?

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

Exhibit E

Exhibit F (He's a french hobo?!)

And finally, Exhibit G.

Now, tell me, should I leave them with their Daddy anymore?

On the up side:

1. My work-at-home husband was gone most of the day so I had the house to myself (well my daughter and the dog were here, but you get the idea).
2. I was super productive while he was gone. Many items were cleared from my to-do list and therefore my brain. Most of these things were simple, but time consuming things I’d been putting off for quite awhile.
3. I enjoyed laughs, hugs and kisses from all of my kids.
4. I also had time to chat with a few girlfriends today.
5. All the kids went to bed on time and stayed there–the first time.
6. Oh, yeah, and I remembered to feed all of the kids.

On the down side:

1. My son had to have a barely loose baby tooth pulled so orthodontic work can proceed.
2. Too much of my time was wasted on the drama being created by a couple parents at my kids’ school.
3. None of that super productive stuff I got done was housework.

Yep, B+.

Ah, tomorrow will be better, though. I’m predicting an A-.  I’m getting my hair cut and colored (long overdue), selling Girl Scout Cookies at the local pizza joint with my daughter, but will likely have to deal with more drama from aforementioned parents.

More pluses than minuses. That’s a good day!

Never one to be outdone, I have now become the worst. mother. ever., thereby beating Pauline.

You see tonight was, well, chaotic. Michael ran out and picked up Subway and Marco’s for dinner (we can never all agree on one restaurant, it seems). As is our norm on nights like these, we let the kids set their little lap desks up in front of the TV and serve them their dinner in the living room.

He came home, we rushed around the kitchen plating up the subs, pouring drinks and delivering everything to them. Then we sat down in the adjacent dining room to eat our meals. Normally, we would have sat on the sofa to eat, but it was too piled up with folded laundry, so we sat in the other room.

Part way through my meal, Leah, who doesn’t like Subway very much, asked for a second helping of Wheaties Fuel, a new cereal that she apparently liked enough to ask for seconds, which says a lot about this cereal that contains 5 grams of dietary fiber per serving. But I digress.

So, I refilled her bowl. Two trips into the living room. First with the cereal, then with the milk.

Back to my dinner.

A bit later, Leah asked for a third bowl of the cereal. Third trip to living room for cereal refill. While I was there, Noah asked me to bring him the rest of his sub when I came back with the milk. Sure thing!

Fourth trip to living room…milk. check. Noah’s sub. check.

Then I saw Sarah. Dear little 2 year old Sarah. Sitting at her little desk right between Leah and Zachary. Her little empty desk. I FORGOT TO FIX HER ANY DINNER!

worst. mother. EVER.

You know the drill, one post a day for a year. It was a dare. I have to do it.

Not. in. the. mood.

I have a couple good ideas for posts, but they will require thought, gathering pictures and concentration to write.

Not. in. the. mood.

I’ve said those words to my husband once or twice in the last 17 years. He’s still around and I suppose the Blog Dare will be, too.

But I did see a video today that was adorable, funny, touching and inspiring. I hope dear hubby and I have that much fun when we’ve been married 62 years!

As for the Blog Dare, that will be over by then and since I assume the Jetson’s age will finally be here by then, I won’t even need a blog. 

My thoughts will just be projected up from my head for all to read.

Enjoy!

So, have you figured out why this is a ‘Sienfeldian’ post? Because it’s about nothing!

I’m in a funk.

I wouldn’t say it’s depression, it’s just a total lack of motivation to get anything done.

As a busy mother of four, being in a funk for an hour can put me behind the 8 ball. But being there for 2-3 weeks has created such a snowball effect that now getting out of the funk just seems overwhelming.

But, it’s Monday eve, and we all turn ourselves around on Monday mornings, right?

So, tomorrow morning, the funk will officially end. I’ll start digging my way out from under the laundry that’s been piling up and all the papers that need to be tossed.

There is little more motivating than success. So, by lunchtime, I should be well on my way to being de-funked.

Unless of course it’s a snow day…then all bets are off!

I’m really enjoying this for many reasons. One of them is that I’m getting to know other bloggers through Community of Moms. I’m learning from and being entertained by them. I hope they’d say the same about me.

At least a couple have. I’ve been awarded the Bogart Award by two of my blogger friends over at Community of Moms: Kim, the Misplaced Midwesterner and Tiffany, The Keeper at Home. Tiffany is also the creator of Community of Moms. Both of their blogs are worth checking out in my opinion! (and not just because they were nice enough to bestow this award on me)

So what’s the Bogart Award?

“This award means you’re really going places, Baby. You’ll still be blogging about your great adventures 10 years from now, and I’ll still be reading them.”

Here are the rules for this award:
- link back to the blogger who sent me this award       check
- post where I would like to be in 10 years                 check (see below)
- pass it on to 10 awesome bloggers                          check (see below)

Ten years from now…I will be 52, I will have been married 27 years (more than half my life), my oldest son will be a senior in college, the next will be a freshman, my oldest daughter will be 16, learning to drive, starting to date and a junior in high school. My youngest daughter will be 12, full of hormones, wanting to date and in the junior high. Folks, I just hope to be alive, sane and sober by then!

Now for the 10 blogs I read that I think are Bogie worthy and you should check out (in alphabetical order):

2 Wired 2 Tired

Artist, Mother, Teacher

Classy Chaos

Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat?

Every Other Thursday

Hope for Peyton

Mike’s Points

Nick Coe

The Organized Mom

Today’s Cliche

Welcome to Pace Place

So, there you have it!That’s actually 11, but I couldn’t decide.

Thank you, kindly, Kim and Tiffany for the award!

It was scary. It was painful.

During my early adult years, I didn’t have dental insurance. A friend’s daughter was going to dental hygienist school and needed guinea pigs patients. That was kind of cool. I got the works! All the work was well supervised by actual dentists and when I found a regular dentist, all the records, x-rays, molds were transferred there. For me, it took away some of the fear that I had.

Fast forward twenty years. I’m taking my children to the dentist. Actually, we go to the same office my husband went to as a kid. His dentist has since retired, but Dr. Joe is there practicing ‘the art of painless dentistry,’ as the sign in his lobby states.

They love it!

Today, my daughter (6 years old) and I went. She got raspberry toothpaste (last time it was chocolate!) and a bubblegum flavored fluoride treatment. She’s so comfortable there, she just leans back and relaxes–as though she’s waiting for her massage rather than her teeth cleaning.

Last time we were there, she asked the hygienist so many questions that she sent her home with little mirrors, a mask, gloves, some extra toothbrushes, etc., so she could “play” dentist.

She's not pretending, she's practicing!

Later, when we played, she corrected me and told me she wasn’t playing, she was practicing because she was going to be a dentist someday. I can think of worse careers for her…

(and, please, no comments about my big mouth )