Tag Archives: laughter

My Mammogram Adventure

The last 10 days have been hell. If you’ve been around here at all, you already know my mother who is in the early late stage of Alzheimer’s disease lives with us and much of what that entails. You probably don’t know that I’m the “responsible party” for my elderly aunt as well.

At 10:30 pm 10 days ago, I got a call from my aunt’s neighbor that she was being taken to the hospital “because her legs gave out.” Well, this is a big long story in itself which I’m not going to go into. Let’s just suffice it to say that there were a number of things wrong, she’s now in rehab for physical therapy for at least a month, maybe longer and this probably serves as the “event” that will take away her independence (i.e., force her into assisted living).

So the last 10 days have been filled with daily trips to the hospital and many trips to her house to take care of her business, phone calls to friends, businesses, and conversations with doctors, nurses and social workers.

Sprinkled in between were my mammogram one day and a stress test and ultrasound for me the next. All standard appointments set up long before my aunt ended up in the hospital. Oh, and of course still taking care of my mom and my kids and trying my best to stay on top of things at work.

The stress was building to be sure. I’m strong, but, really, we all have our limits.

I reached mine yesterday when I got the call that I needed to go back for more images because they saw something on my mammogram that was suspicious and they wanted to take another look. Now, this happened last year. I freaked out a little then, my husband went with me just in case it was bad news, but it turned out to be nothing. So, under normal circumstances, this call would have been no big deal. But, I wasn’t operating under normal circumstances. I was teetering on the edge of keeping it together and this pushed me right over.

I cried and cried and cried. In front of my children (wrong, stupid, wrong, bad mother moment). I reassured them with my words the best I could, but of course the emotion they had witnessed made a bigger impression. My focus went out the window and I cried even more. I was a wreck.

I asked for prayers on Facebook–both my personal profile and my “secret group” that is only for my virtual team of colleagues–it’s our water cooler. More than 30 of my friends commented offering prayers, laughs and encouragement. Two immediately offered to go with me (oh yeah, hubby couldn’t go because he had to take his mom to an important doctor appointment at the same time) and another offered to stay at my house with my mom and kids if I needed it. I was so touched by each and every person! The support was overwhelming.

dinnerMy boss called and asked what I wanted for dinner because it was on her. Later, last night, a colleague sent me an Amazon gift card via email with strict instructions to spend it on something to pamper myself with. I told her I might get spa products or I might end up needing socks to stuff my bras with or scarves to wrap my bald head with, but I was hoping it would go for spa products.

So, this morning, my gal pals showed up and we headed off to the hospital. They had me laughing the whole way!

I asked the mammogram lady (no idea what her job title is…it’s probably not “boob squisher” though) to look and see if I was being called back for the same reason I was last year. Yep. Same side and reason, but different spot. I felt better already!

She did her squishing and I waited while the doctor looked at the pictures.

Hallelujah! Not cancer. A “ridge of dense tissue that looks totally benign.” Did I say “hallelujah?”

So, I told my girlfriends that all was good and we headed off to breakfast with a spring in our steps. Michelle told me her husband had said he was sure it was just a shadow. Thank you, Dr. Todd!

So first to tell the masses. no cancer

Sent a text to my hubby, too. Then called home to reassure my kids. My 16 year old son answered the phone. He was very relieved to hear I was not dying but did say it would be much appreciated if I could go to the grocery store today as we are out of bread, milk and the peanut butter is almost gone. They had applesauce and pudding for breakfast.

Then he said my second son wanted to talk to me. He’s 13 and was also very relieved to hear the good report. I told him to be sure to tell his sisters when they got up that I was OK! He said, “Oh, they’re up. We’re all up. We’re cleaning the house.”

Wait! Did I say I don’t have cancer? The test results aren’t back yet. I’m going to take my friends for breakfast. You keep cleaning!!!

Funniest phone call ever!

So to recap, I was having the week from hell anyway. Then the dreaded mammogram call back and before you know it the whole town was praying for me, two of my friends dropped everything to go to the appointment with me, men around town were talking about my boobs, my boss bought me dinner, my colleague sent me a gift card to pamper myself and MY KIDS CLEANED THE HOUSE!

Well, I’m healthy, and we’re out of food. So, off to the grocery store I go! It was nice while it lasted.

 

 

 

Laughter: The Caregiver’s Best Medicine

It’s no secret, the role of care-giver is tough. It’s frustrating, maddening and down-right disgusting sometimes. So how do I get through the days? I have a few tools in my arsenal (in no particular order): support group, blogging, prayer, tears, a good stiff drink (sometimes and don’t judge) and…laughter!

Even though much of my mom’s personality is gone, her sense of humor is still very much in tact. Often, when she’s taking her pills, she’ll ask, “What are these for?” When we tell her one is for her memory, a common response from her is to grin and say “Oh, I forgot.”

Laughter Is Best Medicine

There are many times we’ve been able to diffuse a tense situation by cracking a joke.

And there are even more times when finding the humor helps the rest of us deal with it all. Sometimes the situations are just funny and it’s ok to find the humor in them and laugh.

I remember a night about a year ago when we were all watching TV and my mom was holding Sissy, her cat, and petting her. Every couple minutes she would say, She’s a pretty kitty. She’s a calico kitty.”

Every time she said it the words were exactly the same and so was the sing-songy way she said it. After she’s said it at least half a dozen times, my oldest son (14 at the time) said, “We should turn this into a drinking game. Every time she says it, we should all take a drink of coke.”

This absolutely cracked us all up! Now, I’ll admit, as his mother, I’m still a little perplexed as to how he even knew what a drinking game was at 14 because I assure you he had never seen one or participated in one. Yes, I’m sure. But, I digress.

Sure enough, she said it again. We all raised our glasses and said, “Cheers!”

Now, when she gets focused on something and starts to drive us nuts, all one of us has to do is say, “Cheers!” and everyone relaxes.

The best part is, I know my mom would approve. She’s always been one of the funniest people I know. I’ll never forget during the visitation at my dad’s funeral seeing my mom and two of her closest friends, standing near the casket doubled over in laughter. No one remembers what they were laughing at, but boy, it must have been good! And, better yet, it was good for her!

If you’re a caregiver and you’re afraid to laugh because it seems disrespectful, I encourage you to read some of these articles and not just take my word for it.

I’ll leave you with one last thought, from one of my favorite authors:

“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.”–Dr. Suess

Share with me! I’d love to hear your funny caregiving stories!